Sproutin' Love
by Zojab04
Summary: Professor Snape finds himself desiring someone other than Lily, and will go to great lengths of changing himself to win them over. ONE-SHOT!


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please note that 0000 indicates jump a in time. My first one shot, reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated & welcome!**

He watched her two plump butt cheeks slide against each other as she made her way to the front of the Great Hall. Her robes fluttered around her graciously, swaying in time to the tap-tapping of her little, cute pair of dragon skin ankle boots meeting the stone ground. The curls framing her voluptuous, rosy red face were extra voluminous today, he noticed, as she sat her cute self down at the Head Table beside Minerva, who was busy engrossed in a conversation with Hagrid, which he had no concern for.

Snape's gaze changed direction as he sighed and lazily flicked his wand at a misbehaving student, stunning him before he had the chance to drop the dungbomb concealed in his sweaty, little, puny hand.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff, Macmillon," he told the student before dismissing him.  
He felt bad punishing a student from Pomona's house, but then again, he punished Gryffindor students left, right and centre, even though his one and only true love, Lily, was so wrongly placed in there. He sighed again as he turned his attention back to the Head Table.

He hadn't felt this way in a while, not since Lily. He had never desired a woman as much as he did right now, or wondered if he had so little as a chance, since Lily. Yes, he thought to himself, Pomona has definitely come from out of the blue and _sprouted _into my life. He curled his mouth into slight smirk at his pun as he exited the Hall with a swish of his bat black robes and began patrolling the corridors before morning lessons, to catch students doing the wrong thing.

"POTTER, twenty points from Gryffindor!" he bellowed over the crowd of kids as he streamlined his way towards Harry, who looked as smug as ever, like his father.

"What did I do now?" Harry moaned.  
"What did I do now, _Professor Snape,_" Snape retaliated through clenched teeth.  
"Sir, is there something wrong? I'm not a Professor, I'm Harry Potter, remember?"  
"TEN MORE POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape snivelled as he stalked away, trying to ignore the sniggers of Potter's arrogant friends, not even remembering what Harry did wrong in the first place. Potter. How he hated him, and his arrogance; so much like his father. Lily deserved so much better than James- she deserved someone like himself.

Only another reason to get over Lily- not only was she _dead, _or married, but she reminded him of so many people who have caused him grief over the past years. Yet, he didn't want to get over her, not forever anyway. He just wanted a fix..._needed _a fix. And as his dark, black as coal eyes gazed out the window and spotted the Herbology greenhouses, Snape knew who he wanted.

**0000**

"Ahhh... yes baby, yes Sprouty, that's it, come on..." Snape awoke with a start, sweat dripping down his pale, white face. His hair was as greasy as ever, he noticed, as he slicked it back, still panting and trying to catch his breath. What a great dream, he thought, again.

Undeniably, this had been the fifth night in a row Snape had awoken in the middle of the night due to a wonderful, erotic dream of himself and Professor Sprout, usually beneath the trees in the moonlight, surrounded by her favourite plants, and using his home brewed kinky potions. He couldn't wait any longer, yet he didn't want to be turned down. How did Pomona feel? He thought to himself, was she lonely too? Did she need someone to accompany on those long, cold, windy, Hogwarts nights? She must, who else does she have? Snape rose out of bed hastily, putting himself in game mode. He had the sudden urge to be desirable, for one to desire him and want him as bad as he wanted Lily, or now, Sprout.

He took a long, hard look at himself in the mirror. His hook nose took up most of the room on his face, his eyes stared blankly and coldly through the glass and his mouth look shrivelled and pruned amongst the ugly scars on his pale, uninviting face. He sighed as he tried smiling, which only revealed yellow teeth and a creepy grin. Disheartened, but not completely giving up, Snape turned his back on the mirror and paced his room, muttering bits and pieces to himself.

"Need to make whitening potion..." he changed direction, "wash and cut hair...trim nose hair... new robes... cut nails..." His whispers trailed off as he realised this wouldn't be too hard, he was going to win Sprout over.

Not wanting to waste time on his teeth whitening potion, he got to work straight away, collecting ingredients to make his sparkling concoction. Pulling on his dressing gown, he grabbed the few bottles he'd gathered and heading down to the dungeons, where he could brew the mixture. He had a sudden spring in his step and didn't even respond to Peeves calling him 'Sevvy Sev' as he charged down the corridor. Bit of this, bit of that, he thought, plucking bottles of the shelves and pouring them into his boiling cauldron. Two mixes here, reverse stir there. He repeated the instructions to himself in his head, as his teeth whitening potion quickly formed within the space of ten minutes.

"Excellent," he said happily, scoffing down the vile of shining white liquid into his throat.  
He could feel it working on his teeth, as they started to tingle and sting a little. Snape held up the metal ladle to his face to admire his new grin. It sparkled. It almost lit up his whole face. Just as suddenly as he'd entered the room, Snape flicked his wand, returning all his supplies back to their designated places and stalked back to bed.

**0000**

Snape woke up early in the morning, not having any more than a few hours sleep, grinning. He felt like a changed man already. However, there was more work to be done and he didn't want Pomoma seeing him before he crept into her room tonight to seduce her. No, no can do.

"Accio quill and parchment," he waved his wand. The small scroll and jet black quill came hurtling towards him. Quickly, he began to write his apologies and excuses for being ill today.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,  
It is with regret I inform you I have taken a nasty reaction to potion poisoning. I was working on a concoction last night and managed to ignore the small print at the bottom of the recipe, it will take a day to brew the reversal potion to recover. I shall be fine tomorrow but for today please find a substitute for my potions class. Sincere apologies, Severus Snape. _

It wasn't a complete lie, he snickered, as he sealed the parchment and waved his wand to send it off. Now, there was no time to spare! Jumping up, Snape disrobed and laid his rather plain and boring outfit on his bed. No will do, he thought, and got to work waving his wand improving his robes to produce garments of deep blue with a green tinge, in the pattern of vines and leaves, sure to impress Professor Sprout. Satisfied, he took out the clippers and began trimming his toenails, then his fingernails, and then finally, brandishing a larger pair of scissors, began snipping away at his greasy dreads. Not daring to look in the mirror in order to surprise himself later, Snape snatched up the unopened bottle of 'Dr Charlotte's Rosemary Shampoo for Oily Hair' and bee-lined for the bath, where he scrubbed his hair of all grime and cleaned his skin to the bone.

Finally, emerging from the steamy tub, Snape dried off, dressed in his new coloured robes and began mixing his favourite collection of saucy potions, which are strictly R rated- only to be used in the bedroom. Snickering, as he completed the final mixture, Snape checked the clock on the wall. Crap, it was almost one in the morning- he had to move! Gathering his things and collecting the pre-prepared bouquet of flowers for Pomoma, he headed out of his chambers and in the direction of the chambers he would prefer to be in right now.

Marching through the corridors with his hair short and clean, robes bright and happy, skin smooth and glistening, teeth white and sparkling and eyes warm and gleaming, it had seemed like Severus Snape had taken a dose of Polyjuice Potion to acquire the form of Gilderoy Lockhart. But Snape didn't care, because for once in his life; he felt like he belonged somewhere, and deserved something he had been craving... something he'd _desired _for so long. However, he realized, he didn't know what he would say to her once he barged in, or how he'd spill his feelings for her, or how he'd seduce her. But again, he didn't care- Snape felt like he'd taken a gulp of Felix Felicis, which he cursed himself for not taking before he left.

This was it, he thought to himself, as he was lured closer and closer to Professor Sprout's door. It's now or never, my time to shine. Completely confident with himself and his new looks, Snape rapped on the door gently, "Pomoma, may I come in?"

He heard a gasp from the other side of the door. Oh my God, he thought, maybe I've caught her doing naughty things to herself...that's hot. Without waiting for a reply, Snape flung open the door and crept in.  
"Ponoma, I've brought you flowers, here, I want to talk to you- AHHHHHH," Snape jumped and backed out of the room, stumbling over his feet.  
"You, Flitwick? Since when?" he felt embarrassed and ashamed of himself, why, oh _why _did he ever think that Sprout would desire _him, _the disgusting and foul Severus Snape?

"For a while now Severus, not that it's any of your business...what, how, what are you doing here," an equally embarrassed and huffed Sprout replied, holding the bed sheet against her exposed chest- Flitwick had long since completely hidden himself under the covers upon Snape's entry without saying a word.

Snape didn't respond, but instead slammed the door behind him and hurried back towards his chambers, trying to hold back his tears. Walking down the corridor, he heard light footsteps coming from ahead. He hurried on, ignoring them, until Sybill Trelawney emerged in front of him.

He noticed she was swaying, stunk of sherry and when she spoke, she spoke in slurred tones, "Oh Snape! Don't you look –burp- dashing! Just the man, yes, that I wanted to see. I have needs that need, ah, attending, yes, do you think you could uh...?"

Snape raised a disapproving eyebrow, but nodded solemnly. He linked her arm within his and lead her back to his bedroom. After all, all he wanted was a fix, right?


End file.
